"a life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives" Jackie Robinson

i hate to say it but there are a lot of things that just don't matter here. and i would rather take everything that i have been blessed with to help other people with than spend money on a dress or shoes. i don't think it is fair for me to continually get more and more that i don't need when there are so many people that would be grateful for what i consider crap. i believe that loneliness and the lie that nobody cares is a pandemic far greater than any medical disease. the irony that the cure for this is much simpler than any medicinal combobulation or medical treatment; love. if we each just took one second to appreciate, empathize or even encourage our world would be a much different place. a much happier place, a more hopeful place. hope is what we cling onto yet fear it will only lead to disappointment. such basic principles but i don't think anyone can say they live up to their potential and embrace them. instead we allow fear to inhibit us and the truth is that it is selfish of us. of course it is not ideal to have to leave your comfort zone to help another person but you may never know the impact it has on them whether or not they express their gratitude.
when we choose to embrace our qualities and talents and disregard our fears, we are not the only beneficiaries.

Allow me to put an end to the Steroid/ Hall of Fame Debate

With the most recent inductees to the Baseball Hall of Fame announced, the issue of steroids once again is brought to the forefront of MLB news on ESPN. Now I don't need to name names such as Mark McGuire, Rafael Palmeiro, Sammy Sosa that are on the ballot but haven't been voted in; and with guys in the Roger Clemens Barry Bonds era going to be on the ballot soon, the issue will continue to be brought up and debated.

So the question is this (and you can apply this to any sport):
Should players that have violated the drug policy be voted in to the Hall of Fame?

my answer (which I believe would end all discussion):
No. Now I actually have thought about this for awhile and have moved on from my solution that if he was a Dodger that makes him ok. While I was sitting on the throne earlier it came to me, if a player doesn't believe he is good enough himself to be successful without banned substances, why should anybody else? Yes, obviously there has to be some God given talent that contributed to their numbers but there use of these drugs is proof that they didn't think they could reach success on their own. Take into consideration that getting into the HOF is probably not the reason for taking their enhancer of choice, but rather to win games, better numbers which coincidentally equals more dinero for the player. Whatever the motive, the answer is no (even after injury). If he doesn't think he can be successful with hard work and all those old school qualities, then why in the world should anyone else be forced to think differently.

I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I think that with my response it doesn't even lead into the morality and role model aspects of the issue. And while their may be accomplices to each man, it is an individual decision and the responsibility lies on their very buff, fake shoulders.

Eat Pray Love

i actually wrote this the old fashioned way with a pen & paper and im not sure why i shared that with you but i guess i felt compelled to.. anyways word on the street is that i give off a ghetto vibe with my vernacular but i am just myself, and i happen to be a very cultured young lady.

now that i am completely off topic i guess i should start. and that part about me being ghetto isn't from the backyard- i just mad libbed that in right now :) the beginning of it is really rough to be honest.. no idea what i was thinkin.. but if you know me then you know that i never start where i will end up and nobody knows what direction i'm going in.. just the way i roll..
let us begin, shall we?

i sit here in my backyard looking at the crescent shaped moon. alright, now i am going to be honest with you, i just can't be a creative word artist that paints a picture with what i write on a page. this is about what i long for. and since i have been back i want to remain in this mindset. now, i'm not certain if it is a phase but i hope it is here to stay. it can be named the same title of the movie i saw today with some good friends for a birthday outing: Eat Pray Love. these are the daily activities i'd like to revolve the rest of my life around. let me first say that no, i didn't agree with certain aspects of the movie, however i'm not a critic and this isn't a film review and i don't want to interrupt my train of thought. (im trying this new thing where i try to focus & not get so sidetracked) but i do love to eat, no surprise there, i like to pray and i like to love. to be honest what i have in my head and eventually on this paper really has very little to do with the movie so there's no need to rush to the theater to understand me- but i still can't promise complete understanding of myself. so to organize my thoughts a bit more im going to go through and break each one down on it's own.

Eat

food. i have a love affair and it ain't no secret. but food is unique to it's people. for example, my diet is absent of wheat and sesame and lots of other stuff. but seriously, food is diverse and a part of every culture. food is shared at the table or wherever people eat and is the place for deep conversation and sharing. not just sharing food but stories and our lives, building relationships and connecting people everywhere. the table is a place where we eat food to nourish our bodies but pour into each other to nourish our soul.

Pray

i believe prayer is a 2 way conversation between you and God. it is so easy to forget to listen and assume the less favored role in a conversation of listener. at least for me, i try to keep prayer an all day dialogue. and let me just say now that whoever thinks God doesn't have a sense of humor takes things way too seriously. anyways, in this series of 3 words "pray" is a reminder to acknowledge our Creator, realize we are not alone, God is waiting for us to go to Him and remind us who is really in control. seek Him.

Love

love God and love people. the 2 greatest commandments. both of these are about being in relationship with other people, believers and nonbelievers alike. the only things that are going to last are our relationships, so we need to nurture them with love. to me this coveres such a broad spectrum but it is pretty simple, love wins (and the story of Jesus Christ proves just that)

so this next tid bit is kinda a culmination of my thoughts but not because i have more to say about this Love topic but it won;t make sense if i write it right now.

so lately i have been wrestling with this feeling inside me of "taking everything with a grain of salt," "looking at the big picture" or maybe, and i'd like to hope i'm headed in this direction of me surrendering to God and realizing what is important. so while i don't think i went through a priority overhaul, this past month has given me a glimpse of life Christ centered and helped me to see God in everyday things and appreciating Him everywhere, all the time. let me make myself clear, i am not there yet, i'd like to be, but the environment i was in allowed me to experience things and let God work in me in ways that to understand, to be honest, you had to be there. while i was there the Lord also brought into light the inner peace that He will provide me with, in Him. this attitude adjustment is something i have been wanting to express but i haven't had the words until today; Eat Pray Love.

and here's the whole love deal. some of you that i've shared my future plans might laugh because they are a bit complex but honestly my mindset is that of simplicity and easy going. like in those laid back countries where everything is just "Ehhh, sure, why not" or "I'd love to!" (i'm thinkin italy, greece, ya know) i want to live in a state of mind completely trusting God, where nothing is a big deal and i can pick up and go on a vacation or throw a party on a whim. but in these types of communities family is huge, and you don't have to be blood related to be familia. so personally, i want to be able to share my life with a guy that gives me the freedom to experience and accomplish things on my own but obviously i'd want to share some of these with him. really, i want to love everybody, live in the moment, and share my life and all that the good Lord has given me. i'd love to have a house full of people that feel welcomed and be able to give them a place to stay and food to eat, and just love on them. and dear me oh Lordy, i pray for a husband that will be able to handle all of it because he probably won't know the full extent of simple chaos, if you will, he's getting himself into when he says "i do."

and that's all i got. my apologies for being so dang long.

why i be OUT.

i will be MIA until august 7. no phone, no facebook, no blogging (insert sniffle).

is it weird that i am not only excited to get to do funlife & workcrew, but i am going to be isolated from the rest of the world?? now now, dont get your panties in a bundle, i dont mean any offense to anybody, but i just love not being able to be reached. of course i love to help people and want to be there for all yall but its just the atmosphere of being away from the chaos that i so enjoy :) its nothing personal.

so i am going to be doing FunLife camp starting tomorrow as a buddy!! that ends thursday and WorkCrew starts friday. so gimme a holla if ya need to reach- thats the time to do it. the rents will be in town, except next thurs/friday to visit me of course!! feel free to drop by the house and leave me a note, like a vigil. (or not)

when i get back i will be busy getting a recap of the dodgers and maylynn's 1st bday partayy!! so i dont wanna leave yall feelin like im deserting ya or abandoning you.. but i kinda am.

well folks. its been real.
peace my brothas and sistas.
much love,
m



*i apologize for this poorly written thought. my creative juices just aint flowin!*

eeerrrkkkk: change of plans

so things have kind of changed for me since we last talked, not so much externally but internally.

anyways, as you may or may not know, last week i went to thousand pines with my jr. high youth group and got to hang out with nine amazing young ladies! and if you didn't know, we are in the same boat since i found out i was leaving less than 24 hours before- but that's totally my style, i act on impulses :)
but i am so grateful for the opportunity that i had to spend time with these girls and just build friendships with them. some of them have tried to say thank you a zillion times and how they loved having me as their counselor, but i really want to say thank you to them. and also to john and robyn who allowed me to go, and their parents who trusted me. (this is starting to feel like an acceptance speech) also, my parents who let me leave for another week this summer bringing my total summer stay in la crescenta down to 3 weeks. and i cant forget the other people that were at camp and made it such a great experience.

all of these people and their efforts combined to help me, and i have a new mindset on life and i am energized to see what is in my future. let me take you back to my thinking pre-camp.

in a nutshell it is this: i wanted to marry tim tebow (or someone of that caliber and same characteristics) i also wanted to start a foundation and go to college. now i am not saying that i don't want to further my education because i definitely do, however the classroom is not exactly my place of success. i had dreams of becoming famous because hello- i'd be married to tim tebow?! but after going to thousand pines, some things are changed, for the best i think.

since my trip i have discovered/ uncovered some of my dreams. i don't really care if i marry tim tebow, as long as he is a man that holds the same qualities and can handle my wrath (not that i have one) and also, i am not in a rush to be in a relationship or feel the need to be on the prowl; God will put whoever the poor soul is in my life when He sees fit. i feel more of an example now. it is not something that i am doing to be an example but my girls and i talked about 1 timothy 4:11-16 a lot this week and being an example is just something that we all are. and it is our responsibility to take advantage of the pedestal we are given and be a good example. another aspect of this was that i had the opportunity to build some really neat relationships with the girls in my cabin. i am very excited to watch them continue their walk with Christ and be of any help i can. to be honest i am actually really sad that i have to leave them for a month. something else that i learned was that i don't care about being famous. fame is something that comes with the territory, and if God thinks i can handle it, i don't have to worry about making a name for myself and achieving my own glory. so here is what i want to do with my life, and please please please, if you have any advice or anything i would absolutely appreciate all of it.
i'm going to back up to my days in middle school. i went to acquire the fire in spring of 7th grade and i didn't want to leave. the atmosphere was so powerful and inspiring. then in the fall the revolve tour as an 8th grader. i was really close with one of my leaders, ashley robbins, (who by the way we have to get together- like soon). after the conference we walked around downtown disney and for hours i just talk and talked (hard to imagine i know) about becoming a speaker. since that time it is something that has always been a part of what i wanted to do, but after this week i feel secure and confident in saying that i want to be a speaker. i realized that i can communicate with people and i think i have some good ideas to help visually represent exactly what i need to share. i feel like the Lord is leading me towards speaking at camps and events where i can help kids and leaders build relationships and be there for them.

now everyone that knows me knows that i am a very instantaneous girl. i like to do things big and fast. a combination that has some obvious stumbling blocks. maybe it is my youth or i'm blinded by my excitement that i don't get discouraged by these "realities." yes, i see them as challenges, but not anything more. i understand that i have to talk to some people, and i will (if anybody knows of anyone i should talk to, i'd very much appreciate that) another thing that comes with entering my senior year is that next step called college. i know i know, blah blah blah, read me off all the college stats but i feel this urgency tugging at my heart, so of course i came up with a hypothetical solution. it probably still needs some work and it may draw a few chuckles from the folks that just call me a naive teenage girl with my head in the clouds (and for the record- what is so bad about that?). but i think that maybe i could take online courses, so that i could still be a student if i am traveling.

i understand that most people that read this aren't going to understand but it's like what i stressed to my girls this week: 1) no one should keep their story to themselves. and 2) don't neglect your gift

thanks. everyone. for everything.

-m

ps- i will talk more about this next month in a few days :)

a glimpse into my life

so you may or may not be wondering why the name of my blog is ohhh mariaaa..... well i think these next 2 stories will clear that up. but just in case it's because everybody that knows me really well has said or thought that exact thing. it's not derogatory (at least i think not cause if it is then joke's on me!) and right now i am stalling because i only remember one of the stories i was going to share.. and i hope the other comes to me.. we will see

so i have a new thing for grilling and so tonight my parents asked me to grill some burgers with my little brother michael. so we go out there and what do you know- it starts to rain. so im standing there in the frigid weather and just praying Dear God, please have mercy on me and hold off the rain until im done. so it mostly stopped but i did have my umbrella just in case. it just goes to show the power of prayer!!

okay, ima be honest with you.. i still dont know my second story.. so lets do a little improv.. well.. tomorrow im getting my blood taken from my body and a tinkle test! first of all, i find the whole ordeal very traumatizing and i also have trouble with aim. i mean personally i think they should have the victim pee first because it is an awfully troublesome predicament i find myself in the waiting room. considering that i do not relieve myself in the morning when i wake up, my whole routine is jacked up. and then i have the agonizing stress of the fact that a piece of metal is going to be sticking out of my arm and taking away my bodily fluid that is vital to my life. no big deal. so i think that when you walk in, they should say hello, please sign in and here is your cup. restroom is down the hall on your left. then you go back and cry waiting to get called too be stabbed. all of this while you still have not had breakfast yet i might add. one time i made the mistake of taking a leak in the morning so when it came time to urinate in the cup i had nothing left in me. so what do you do in that situation?

well if you are like my mother you ask if you can take it home and come back with the specimen filled. but i did not know that was an option, so being the resourceful young lady that i am, i filled it up with water. i did have a little trickle of the requested substance in there and i waited that whole time for them to call saying that i had some disease that i really didnt have. so tonight my dilemma is to drink up or not.. we will see.. but please keep my in your prayers :)

so that wasn't the story i wanted to share with you but it will just have to do. i've had 2 posts in the past few hours.. thats more than i have had all year!! and that is the story of the name of my blog.. well not really but kinda

I <3 BBQ!!

i love barbeque. not only do i love the array of flavors that it creates, but the whole idea and atomosphere surrounding it. i think bbqs have some type of people magnet, everyone seems to gravitate towards the grill and just enjoy themselves! i love the nostalgia of grilling, and that is why i have decided to become a master griller. usually you see a man at the bbq encircled in a crowd of other men, but in my house its a little different sometimes. we barbeque often, so my mother grills when it is just our family and i want to be able to do it. i think that it is an important skill that i need to learn. now stay with me for a sec, i get that it is very masculine or whatever, but i feel intensely compelled to learn the trade. for my english class we had a cultural foods day, so i brought carne asada. this was my first experience that i was the head griller. and i LOVED it! since then, we ran out of gas, so i have had limited oppotunities to practice, but for my birthday (in 9 days) i am going to have a small little bbq and show off. now how do i say this next thing no homo.... well i mean this with absolutely no homo- i think chicks grilling is kinda hot. from a guys perspective!! i mean yeah femininity is great and im all for it- but there are some things that i think empower a lady and dont take away from a man. so maybe its just me, but whoever i marry is gonna have to deal with the fact that i enjoy grilling and using power tools. in fact for christmas i made my brother a cross in 2 hours. and he loves it. i also took it upon myself to take a hammer and hang pictures throughout the house. so thats my little sermon for today and i have this delicious idea that im going to try and i will get back to all yall with it.. think: bbq chicken pineapple & that white cheese sandwiches......mmm deliciousss!!

it may make more sense if you know that i am a bbq chicken anything nazi.. i should do a breakdown of the best!! aahh!! i will get on that!!