i actually wrote this the old fashioned way with a pen & paper and im not sure why i shared that with you but i guess i felt compelled to.. anyways word on the street is that i give off a ghetto vibe with my vernacular but i am just myself, and i happen to be a very cultured young lady.
now that i am completely off topic i guess i should start. and that part about me being ghetto isn't from the backyard- i just mad libbed that in right now :) the beginning of it is really rough to be honest.. no idea what i was thinkin.. but if you know me then you know that i never start where i will end up and nobody knows what direction i'm going in.. just the way i roll..
let us begin, shall we?
i sit here in my backyard looking at the crescent shaped moon. alright, now i am going to be honest with you, i just can't be a creative word artist that paints a picture with what i write on a page. this is about what i long for. and since i have been back i want to remain in this mindset. now, i'm not certain if it is a phase but i hope it is here to stay. it can be named the same title of the movie i saw today with some good friends for a birthday outing: Eat Pray Love. these are the daily activities i'd like to revolve the rest of my life around. let me first say that no, i didn't agree with certain aspects of the movie, however i'm not a critic and this isn't a film review and i don't want to interrupt my train of thought. (im trying this new thing where i try to focus & not get so sidetracked) but i do love to eat, no surprise there, i like to pray and i like to love. to be honest what i have in my head and eventually on this paper really has very little to do with the movie so there's no need to rush to the theater to understand me- but i still can't promise complete understanding of myself. so to organize my thoughts a bit more im going to go through and break each one down on it's own.
Eat
food. i have a love affair and it ain't no secret. but food is unique to it's people. for example, my diet is absent of wheat and sesame and lots of other stuff. but seriously, food is diverse and a part of every culture. food is shared at the table or wherever people eat and is the place for deep conversation and sharing. not just sharing food but stories and our lives, building relationships and connecting people everywhere. the table is a place where we eat food to nourish our bodies but pour into each other to nourish our soul.
Pray
i believe prayer is a 2 way conversation between you and God. it is so easy to forget to listen and assume the less favored role in a conversation of listener. at least for me, i try to keep prayer an all day dialogue. and let me just say now that whoever thinks God doesn't have a sense of humor takes things way too seriously. anyways, in this series of 3 words "pray" is a reminder to acknowledge our Creator, realize we are not alone, God is waiting for us to go to Him and remind us who is really in control. seek Him.
Love
love God and love people. the 2 greatest commandments. both of these are about being in relationship with other people, believers and nonbelievers alike. the only things that are going to last are our relationships, so we need to nurture them with love. to me this coveres such a broad spectrum but it is pretty simple, love wins (and the story of Jesus Christ proves just that)
so this next tid bit is kinda a culmination of my thoughts but not because i have more to say about this Love topic but it won;t make sense if i write it right now.
so lately i have been wrestling with this feeling inside me of "taking everything with a grain of salt," "looking at the big picture" or maybe, and i'd like to hope i'm headed in this direction of me surrendering to God and realizing what is important. so while i don't think i went through a priority overhaul, this past month has given me a glimpse of life Christ centered and helped me to see God in everyday things and appreciating Him everywhere, all the time. let me make myself clear, i am not there yet, i'd like to be, but the environment i was in allowed me to experience things and let God work in me in ways that to understand, to be honest, you had to be there. while i was there the Lord also brought into light the inner peace that He will provide me with, in Him. this attitude adjustment is something i have been wanting to express but i haven't had the words until today; Eat Pray Love.
and here's the whole love deal. some of you that i've shared my future plans might laugh because they are a bit complex but honestly my mindset is that of simplicity and easy going. like in those laid back countries where everything is just "Ehhh, sure, why not" or "I'd love to!" (i'm thinkin italy, greece, ya know) i want to live in a state of mind completely trusting God, where nothing is a big deal and i can pick up and go on a vacation or throw a party on a whim. but in these types of communities family is huge, and you don't have to be blood related to be familia. so personally, i want to be able to share my life with a guy that gives me the freedom to experience and accomplish things on my own but obviously i'd want to share some of these with him. really, i want to love everybody, live in the moment, and share my life and all that the good Lord has given me. i'd love to have a house full of people that feel welcomed and be able to give them a place to stay and food to eat, and just love on them. and dear me oh Lordy, i pray for a husband that will be able to handle all of it because he probably won't know the full extent of simple chaos, if you will, he's getting himself into when he says "i do."
and that's all i got. my apologies for being so dang long.
