but i am so grateful for the opportunity that i had to spend time with these girls and just build friendships with them. some of them have tried to say thank you a zillion times and how they loved having me as their counselor, but i really want to say thank you to them. and also to john and robyn who allowed me to go, and their parents who trusted me. (this is starting to feel like an acceptance speech) also, my parents who let me leave for another week this summer bringing my total summer stay in la crescenta down to 3 weeks. and i cant forget the other people that were at camp and made it such a great experience.
all of these people and their efforts combined to help me, and i have a new mindset on life and i am energized to see what is in my future. let me take you back to my thinking pre-camp.
in a nutshell it is this: i wanted to marry tim tebow (or someone of that caliber and same characteristics) i also wanted to start a foundation and go to college. now i am not saying that i don't want to further my education because i definitely do, however the classroom is not exactly my place of success. i had dreams of becoming famous because hello- i'd be married to tim tebow?! but after going to thousand pines, some things are changed, for the best i think.
since my trip i have discovered/ uncovered some of my dreams. i don't really care if i marry tim tebow, as long as he is a man that holds the same qualities and can handle my wrath (not that i have one) and also, i am not in a rush to be in a relationship or feel the need to be on the prowl; God will put whoever the poor soul is in my life when He sees fit. i feel more of an example now. it is not something that i am doing to be an example but my girls and i talked about 1 timothy 4:11-16 a lot this week and being an example is just something that we all are. and it is our responsibility to take advantage of the pedestal we are given and be a good example. another aspect of this was that i had the opportunity to build some really neat relationships with the girls in my cabin. i am very excited to watch them continue their walk with Christ and be of any help i can. to be honest i am actually really sad that i have to leave them for a month. something else that i learned was that i don't care about being famous. fame is something that comes with the territory, and if God thinks i can handle it, i don't have to worry about making a name for myself and achieving my own glory. so here is what i want to do with my life, and please please please, if you have any advice or anything i would absolutely appreciate all of it.
i'm going to back up to my days in middle school. i went to acquire the fire in spring of 7th grade and i didn't want to leave. the atmosphere was so powerful and inspiring. then in the fall the revolve tour as an 8th grader. i was really close with one of my leaders, ashley robbins, (who by the way we have to get together- like soon). after the conference we walked around downtown disney and for hours i just talk and talked (hard to imagine i know) about becoming a speaker. since that time it is something that has always been a part of what i wanted to do, but after this week i feel secure and confident in saying that i want to be a speaker. i realized that i can communicate with people and i think i have some good ideas to help visually represent exactly what i need to share. i feel like the Lord is leading me towards speaking at camps and events where i can help kids and leaders build relationships and be there for them.
now everyone that knows me knows that i am a very instantaneous girl. i like to do things big and fast. a combination that has some obvious stumbling blocks. maybe it is my youth or i'm blinded by my excitement that i don't get discouraged by these "realities." yes, i see them as challenges, but not anything more. i understand that i have to talk to some people, and i will (if anybody knows of anyone i should talk to, i'd very much appreciate that) another thing that comes with entering my senior year is that next step called college. i know i know, blah blah blah, read me off all the college stats but i feel this urgency tugging at my heart, so of course i came up with a hypothetical solution. it probably still needs some work and it may draw a few chuckles from the folks that just call me a naive teenage girl with my head in the clouds (and for the record- what is so bad about that?). but i think that maybe i could take online courses, so that i could still be a student if i am traveling.
i understand that most people that read this aren't going to understand but it's like what i stressed to my girls this week: 1) no one should keep their story to themselves. and 2) don't neglect your gift
thanks. everyone. for everything.
-m
ps- i will talk more about this next month in a few days :)
No comments:
Post a Comment